Momentary Doubt
by bubbles799
Summary: A glimpse into her eyes to make the pain worse.


**Title:** Momentary Doubt  
**Author:** bubbles799  
**Show:** _Packed to the Rafters_  
**Characters:** Jake/Rachel  
**Summary:** A glimpse into her eyes to make the pain worse.  
**Disclaimer:** Time and time again, I've said it; PTTR is not mine.

_**After last night's episode, which was sad, happy, devastating, intense, brilliant and a million other things all rolled into one, I felt compelled to write something. It may contain spoilers for the next episode, it may not. But be warned before you read further. **_

/

A momentary pause. A momentary pause that had, in turn, made a terrible problem even worse. Rachel knew it, Jake knew it.

It was a long time coming, but when Jake finally admitted what the whole ordeal was about, Rachel hadn't known how to react.

_Jake: I've been charged with attempted sexual assault. _

Definitely not what Rachel had in mind. Although, she hadn't really had anything in mind, except for the fact that it was obviously something bad considering the manner in how Jake had been dragged away for questioning.

Jake immediately protested his innocence once the truth was out to Rachel.

_Rachel: Why would she say such a thing?  
Jake: I don't know. I can't even believe I'm being questioned about this. About assaulting a woman. I could never do that. I just never would do that. _

The thought was enough to make him sick. However, what made it all worse was when he turned to the woman he loved. He saw Rachel's blank expression, and sense something. What it was, he wasn't sure.

_Jake: Rach?_

Rachel then realised how she'd been looking, quickly jumping to reassure him that she believed him. But it obviously wasn't quick enough; Jake saw that glimpse in her eyes. Or at least he thought he did.

_Jake: No you don't. _

That realisation hurt almost more than the charges he was facing. The fact that he believed that Rachel wasn't sure. She was the person he was supposed to trust, and it should have gone both ways. But that waver of doubt was something he couldn't ignore.

For Rachel, the question (although there were many) that was playing wildly on her mind. Why hadn't Jake told her sooner? Why had he made such an effort to conceal the fact that something had gone down? How could he keep something so big from her?

But Jake wasn't prepared to talk further. Not then. And so they parted ways, giving each other space to deal with their own hurts.

/

Rachel had gone to her safe house of her childhood home. Terribly hungover Ben was still on the couch, leaving Rachel the freedom to return to her old bedroom. Her mother had known something was wrong, but Rachel was thankful for the fact that she'd managed to put her mother off for the time being.

The same scenario kept playing over and over in Rachel's head. The thoughts were like a broken record, continually repeating. Rachel wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and for everything to disappear. But that never happened.

Rachel knew her brief pause had hurt Jake. She knew why. And she hadn't meant it like that. But the question of why she didn't know about the situation had caused the pause. She just wished Jake hadn't seen it. Curling up, Rachel began to cry, her heart aching at the situation playing out before her.

/

Jake was lying flat on his back, the bed beside him empty. As empty as Rachel's eyes not long before. Jake had seen the glimpse in her eyes, the glimpse of doubt. He'd seen it; hell, he was sure blind Freddy would have seen it. Perhaps in time he'd understand why she had been that way, but currently, it was hurting him too much that she didn't trust him. He couldn't see sense.

More than anything, he wanted to be able to turn to the person he loved. But without the option, Jake gave in and closed his eyes, his body swallowing him into the dark world of sleep.

/

It was the afternoon, and neither of them had spoken to each other. Rachel had hopped off her bed several times with the intention of leaving to see him. But she'd only ever made it as far as the door, dragging herself back to the bed.

Eventually it was Jake that made the move. He wasn't completely over Rachel's pause, but he did think they needed to talk.

And that's how he'd ended up at the Rafter house. He knew it would be the place Rachel had sought out after she left. And he'd seen her car in the driveway as he pulled up. Knocking on the door, it was Julie that answered. Greeting Julie, Jake spoke up.

"I assume Rachel's here?"

"Yeah, she's in the bedroom," Julie told him with a smile, stepping back to allow him in.

Jake wasn't sure, but he was ninety-percent sure that the other Rafter's weren't aware of what had gone down. He was slightly relieved; he wasn't ready to face this yet. One step at a time. A knock on Rachel's door saw no answer, so he opened it slowly. Rachel's back was to the door as she lay on the bed, and Jake wasn't sure if she was asleep as he shut the door behind him. Walking around the bed slowly, he saw her eyes closed as she dozed. The tear tracks on her face were obvious as Jake stopped with a sigh, before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Rachel's eyes fluttered as the bed shifted with his weight. With her focus adjusted, she saw Jake sitting there and pulled herself up.

"Hey."

"Hey," Jake replied. "Are you okay?" Rachel nodded.

"I'm sorry," she told him straight up. "I'm sorry. It was just a lot to process."

"Yeah, for you and me both," Jake agreed.

"For what it's worth, I do believe you," Rachel spoke up bravely. This time it was Jake's turn to nod slowly.

"I shouldn't have lost it so quickly," Jake admitted.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have ever had a moment of doubt," Rachel said. "Thing is, I don't doubt you; not at all. You'd never do that. Never. But what I want to know is why you didn't tell me?" Jake didn't answer straight away, as if gathering his thoughts.

"I didn't know how," Jake said. "I didn't think it would ever reach this point. I mean, I didn't do anything to her. But it's hard to say something like that. How do I just walk up to you and tell you what happened?"

"It's me, Jake. You should be able to tell me anything," Rachel told him.

"Sorry," Jake's words were simple. There was a brief pause between the pair. But it was Rachel who eventually broke the silence.

"Are we going to be okay?" Jake swallowed.

"Do you doubt me? Even in the slightest way?" Jake questioned. This time, Rachel was quick to respond.

"No, I don't. Not at all." Neither of them spoke further, Rachel simply moved forward to hug him tightly, a gesture Jake gladly accepted. Neither of them knew what would come in the coming days or weeks, but for a brief moment, things were on their way back. Ready to fight.

/

_**No one can deny the chemistry between Jess and James, especially as they played such intense parts last night. It was so well done, and a terrific episode to boot. I'm so hanging out until next Tuesday. **_

_**As for me, my morning has just hit an all time low after I had to ask my partner to straighten the last part of my hair because I couldn't turn my neck that far back! Other than that, I'm going shopping for the day. **_

_**I hope you liked this. Thanks again for reading. **_


End file.
